I have been really trying (I am sure I can actually try harder), to get healthy. I haven’t really talked about it much, mostly because I am embarrassed about my weight. I have been trying to eat healthier and exercise more. You would think that more often than not a person is fat because they over eat. That is actually NOT the problem for me. I actually don’t take in enough calories. I usually only eat once a day, and when I do it is usually the closest thing to me because I am starving at that point. A lot of the time I work 12 to 16 hour days, so some of it is laziness on my end. I often feel like I don’t want to come home after a long day and “workout”. but…I know I need to be healthier. my body doesn’t seem to be holding up as well as it should at my age, and no matter how I look at it I truly think my weight and unhealthy eating habits are partly to blame.
The other day I was talking to the CIO of the Hospital I have been working at (our client). SHE asked if I was “expecting”…. obviously I am not. I handled it better than i thought I would…my response back was simply “Nope, just fat”. I was embarrassed especially since she said it right in front of one of my employees. Not only do I already feel disgusted with my weight, but the baby thing is a true sore spot in my life (and an entirely different post on it own. lol).
I joked around about it with my co-workers and actually have been ever since. People, women especially should know better. Fat people already are treated differently discriminated against, and made fun of. Most people have NO idea what that person is or has gone through. Most people assume they are pigs, or gross. I know I look at myself badly for being fat. I was told at a young age that “if your fat, noonewill like you”; :”you won’t have any friends”. Well, I believed this for a LONG time. Even going so far to be skinny that I had to seek treatment. What the treatment facility failed to realize is…what happens once your not in need of the treatment anymore? You have the same bad habits, you still have the same mental block…but now I am the opposite.
I just want to be loved and supported like anyone else. I don’t want to make an excuse for my weight or have to explain to each person my problems losing it. People should just take a minute to think…
I know this women would NEVER try and hurt someones feelings. In fact she is a really wonderful person and was probably just excited about the thought of a possible baby…but you never know what someone is going through. I know I learned at a young age to think before I speak…and still make some mistakes… but I really try to look beyond someones looks, weight and flaws and love them, encourage them, and support them regardless!
…Okay so it does look like I am pregnant. but still…that’s not the point!